My poor son

[twinkletoes]

He's played with a mindee for 3 years and they are at nursery, mindee has made some new friends and as soon as my son comes over to talk to them he gets told go away i don't like you anymore, you are not my friend, the mindees mum was there and did not say a word to mindee, if it were me i would have told my son to say sorry as its not nice to speak to your friends like that.

He was so upset he did not want me to leave him at nursery, and he said can i buy him some sweets so that he can share them with mindee when we get home.
As soon as we are walking home mindee wants to be his friend again and did the same to him this morning when i dropped him off.
He's so upset he can't understand why his friend is doing this to him.

I know that because mindee is at school now they will make new friends thats normal but why do they have to be so nasty to him, He tries to make friends with mindess friends and he gets told to go away.

[LADYBIRD]

Hi it,s not very nice when this happens and i can understand how you feel as my daughter was the same when she first started school she would always come home saying that the couple of girls she had always been friends with didnt like her anymore or wern't her friend. The truth is though that its a part of growing up and it is prob affecting you more than your son (i know it did me!) cause you love him so much and want everyone to like him just as you do. It is prob the mindees way of exerting his authority in the only way he can as dont forget while he is at yours you are in charge and maybe he feels a certain resentment toward your son if there are any differences in the way they both get attention, i know my daughter used to ( and a friends daughter does now) let the mindees know that it was her house and family and not thiers, not in a nasty way but did do just the same and this is normal when someone else comes into their home. Also remember that if he wasnt a mindee of yours maybe they wouldnt have beeen friends in the first place children like to form their own relationships but sometimes we tend to push then into it cause we think they should, like if we have a mindee and child the same age we assume they should be great friends.
I do think the issue should be addressed though if the child is going to be with you for a while weather your son and him are going to be friends or not.
Maybe you could discuss it at circle time or do role-play around feelings so that the mindee understands that he is hurting your sons feelings as whatever the situation he should not be allowed to feel he has the right to upset someone.
I know its hard and you wont want to hear it but you son will have his turn and do the same to someone else and it will be just as hard on them, its just pat of growing up.
lots of cuddles and reasurance and i,m sure your son will get through it.
Good luck
Vx